Penetration is one of many sexual activities. Others are oral sex, nipple pinching, butt squeezing, clit rubbing, ball tickling, breast binding, toe sucking... The erogenous activities that constitute "sex" are as varied as the people who do them.
Why does the media stick to an outdated, offensive and boring definition of sex?
A study to be published next month in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, based on a survey of sex therapists, concluded that the "optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse was 3 to 13 minutes."
I scratched my head on that one, until I read that "the time does not include foreplay." And then the bulb went on. Well, two bulbs went on.
First, why are they using those tired, narrow definitions of "sex" and "foreplay" -- as if they were separate activities?
And second, what if "intercourse" isn't in your sexual vocabulary, although you're having fabulous erotic experiences? Or if your idea of intercourse involves neither a penis nor a vagina?
What's sex?
This conflation of "sex" and "sexual intercourse" is as outdated an idea as the prohibition on wearing white shoes after Labor Day or the belief that birth control causes promiscuity. Let's get real.
Penetration is one of many sexual activities. Others are oral sex, nipple pinching, butt squeezing, clit rubbing, ball tickling, breast binding, toe sucking and, did I say clit rubbing? The actions that constitute "sex" -- undistinguished from "foreplay" -- are as varied as the people who do them.
If a couple has kissed and touched and teased and stroked and sucked until both of them are totally satiated -- but they haven't screwed -- is that not sex?
If someone has a fetish -- say they are wild about stockings -- and they get off humping the silk-encased thigh of their partner -- is that not sex?
What's intercourse?
Intercourse isn't right for everyone and isn't required for reaching an ecstatic orgasm.
Sometimes you want penetration and luckily there are a number of possible spots to penetrate with a number of body parts -- from fingers to tongue to penis -- and non-body parts -- from dildos to ben-wa balls to fruit.
But the AP report on this study seems to be all about heterosexual penile/vaginal intercourse and even that is very limited and limiting.
Not only do people feel varied levels of enthusiasm about such sexual intercourse at various times of their lives (or months), some people cannot perform that particular activity at all.
There are plenty of reasons for this, including the thinning of the vaginal walls with age, medications that prevent strong erections, a personal safer sex guideline or simply no inclination for copulation.
Don't gay and lesbian people have sex? Do their activities fit this definition of "sexual intercourse"?
And the woman who drizzles lubricant in her cleavage and then presses her breasts together as her male lover pumps, is that intercourse? Does anal sex constitute intercourse? What about fisting?
The article's general thrust is that you shouldn't feel bad about having such short-lived sex, since it appears to be the norm.
In fact, the piece includes a promise that this study will "ease the minds" of those worried about the stopwatch.
In support of low expectations, Marianne Brandon, a clinical psychologist, is quoted as saying:
"There are so many myths in our culture of what other people are doing sexually. Most people's sex lives are not as exciting as other people think they are."
Perhaps if the sex therapists encouraged the broadest exploration of pleasure, we wouldn't have to resort to measuring such a narrow notion of sex.
Separating "foreplay" from "sex" is as logical as separating tea from water. It's in the mix that we find the thrill and satisfaction.
The sector hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who aren't afraid to mention how they believe. At all times follow your heart.
Feel free to visit my site ... Sex Facebook
my web site: http://aliancarussa.com/
I am not sure if this is really the best place to ask but do you folks have any
thoughts on where to employ some professional writers?
Thank you :)
my website: adult facebook
My webpage > sex facebook
asbestos relevant malignancies. Thanks for sharing your ideas about this
important health issue.
Here is my page facebook sex
any borrower to be able to still have any remaining unpaid
debt on the mortgage. There are many financial institutions
who try to have all costs and liens repaid by the next buyer.
Even so, depending on sp programs, laws, and state legal guidelines
there may be quite a few loans that aren't easily handled through the exchange of lending options. Therefore, the obligation still rests on the lender that has had his or her property foreclosed on. Many thanks for sharing your opinions on this weblog.
Feel free to visit my webpage; wiklimaatinstallaties.com
My web site > xasca.science.uu.nl
it makes me ponder the reason why I had not looked
at this with this light previously. This particular piece really did turn the light on for me as far as this subject goes.
But there is actually just one factor I am not necessarily too comfortable
with so whilst I attempt to reconcile that with the central idea of your position, permit me see just what all the rest of your subscribers have to point out.
Well done.
Here is my web site :: facebook for sex
so I came to check it out. I'm definitely loving the information. I'm bookmarking
and will be tweeting this to my followers! Wonderful blog and
outstanding design.
Feel free to surf to my web site: sex facebook
scheme in our community. Your site provided
us with useful information to paintings on. You have done a formidable
task and our entire group might be grateful to you.
My webpage - wiki.cable-info.net
also am a blogger, and I was wondering your situation; many of us have created some nice methods and we are looking to swap methods with others, please shoot me an email if interested.
Feel free to surf to my site facebookofsex
I have seen that many insurance firms offer clients generous discounts if they elect
to insure multiple cars with them. A significant variety of households own several
cars or trucks these days, in particular
those with elderly teenage kids still residing at home, and the
savings in policies can certainly soon mount up.
So it pays to look for a great deal.
Here is my weblog: free personals
Also visit my site - the dating site
both educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you have hit the nail on the head.
Your thought is excellent; the difficulty is one thing that not sufficient people are speaking intelligently about.
I am very blissful that I stumbled across this in my seek for
something relating to this.
Also visit my page ... free personals
more. I am taking your feeds also.
Stop by my webpage: anonym dating
terrific encounter our princess experienced checking your
web page. She realized so many issues, with the inclusion of what it's like to have an awesome giving mindset to let men and women quite simply fully grasp selected tricky subject matter. You really exceeded my expectations. Thanks for delivering those insightful, trustworthy, informative and i fun guidance on that topic to Emily.
Here is my site udesc.br
So nice to search out someone with some original ideas
on this subject. realy thanks for beginning this up.
this website is one thing that's needed on the net, someone with somewhat originality. useful job for bringing something new to the web!
My blog ... dlgsoftware.net
"save" the commission. Rather, they try to win the commission through doing an agent's work. In doing so, they invest their money and also time to execute, as best they are able to, the tasks of an real estate agent. Those jobs include revealing the home by means of marketing, introducing the home to willing buyers, building a sense of buyer emergency in order to make prompt an offer, organizing home inspections, ing on qualification assessments with the bank, supervising repairs, and assisting the closing.
Here is my webpage ... facebook sex
Take a look at my blog sex facebook
your blog and check again here regularly. I am quite certain I�ll learn
lots of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!
Feel free to visit my website - adult finder
simply excellent and i can think you are a professional on this subject.
Well together with your permission allow me to grasp your RSS
feed to stay updated with imminent post. Thanks 1,000,000 and please carry on the enjoyable work.
Also visit my web blog ... free dating websites online