Why are there so many women haunted by a low self-esteem ?

I have shared many thoughts through out my blogs on feelings, jealousy, worries, fears, and self-esteem. Every day I receive mail from all over the world from women suffering from a lack of inner power to get through the day, due to a low self-esteem. It does not only affect their relationships at home, it also follows them into their work place, where they are being suffocated from a lack of confidence.

In a work place the power of self-esteem needs to be high so that ones confidence can guide them through actions such as: important decision making, dealings with an opposite sex boss, office politics, other staff members trying to gain on your efforts, talking to clients or customers on the phone or in person, dealing with rejection regarding your work, and even things as simple as fitting into the social side of your job (making friends). People deal with this everyday, and when they are suffering inside, their power of self-esteem is definitely very low. Then they still have to deal with the rest of their day. It's no wonder the corner bar looks like a nice hide-away.

There are two parts to the meaning of the power of self-esteem:

1: self-acceptance, which is an appreciation of ones worth as a human being.

2: self-confidence, the knowing that you are competent enough to use your gifts to their fullest.

To have the power of self-esteem, one must be able to feel both emotions in a positive manner.

Through ones life, they have learned through negative experiences to doubt themselves, to fear criticism and ridicule. They have also learned to cut themselves down at a glance of someone else they deem to be richer, prettier, or smarter. They eventually lose the power of self-esteem.

We can run through our past, over and over and over again. We can bang our heads on the wall, we can create eating disorders in ourselves, we can cut up our bodies just to feel something, or we can even turn away from everyone we love and cherish for fear they may just find that one tiny keyhole to unlock our self-pity trap we are in. We can do just about anything to not find the strength to gain back the power of self-esteem. It is after all the easy road to take, is it not? To fail, to cry out for sympathy, to get attention, even if it is the wrong attention. I have learned one very important thing in all my work through helping women gain the power of self-esteem, no matter how many times you see someone prettier, skinnier, richer, taller, smarter, happier, better spoken, or with a colgate smile you envy, the sun will come up tomorrow with or without you. Your worries and self-pity caused by your weakness to control the power of self-esteem that is inside of you. It is waiting to be used as the gift that you were born with. You can spend hours hurting and suffering inside because you are not, or cannot be who you think you should have been. You must stop allowing yourself to feel threatened by the world. When your mind feels threatened, it will automatically react to protect you. This is where your thoughts and your actions collide. Confusion becomes part of your thinking now and this is when the negative emotions take over fast and furious. Into the pit, you go.

The ability to shift your focus to positive mental thoughts during stress is the most important link needed to escape any emotional trap we fall into. The power of self-esteem is all about your first thought and how you deal with it. It is at that split second that you have to decide to think positively or just plain toss it out of your head. Tossing negative thoughts is something I have mentioned before,"HABITS".

Your goal is to offset the mind-body reaction to the stresses we are constantly forced to deal with through society. The power of self-esteem can be gained if you really want it. I know that I have filled my website and my articles with everything from A-Z on steps to get you there.

Women are still in constant belief that only over weight woman, or not so pretty woman (by society`s standards) are at risk of losing the power of self-esteem.

Again I repeat this over and over, please read ,"Why Do Pretty Girls Cry". It's all there. I speak of the pretty girls, and society`s way of convincing you that only ugly girls cry. I know that is a harsh statement, but I am trying to get through to every person on earth that the power of self-esteem is in each and everyone of us. We are all born with it. Yes we all have our reasons for our weaknesses. OK, now that we know that, lets move on. How can we fight off the negative thoughts that bring us down? Through my thoughts in my website and blogs, you can educate yourself and learn to improve your thinking habits. It is possible, but not easy at all. That is the reason so many of you fail to gain the power of self-esteem. You have no consistent learning strength. You fear anything that takes time and dedication.

Then why is it that you will search endlessly through every search engine for ways to get you through this hell you are in, pay a nonsensical amount of money to a therapist to tell you what you already know, cut yourself, or make your body suffer through eating disorders, not to mention put yourself and your friends in so much turmoil over your inability to create better mind over matter habits? Can you see what I see there? I see that you do have the power of self-esteem. You do have the patience, the will and the strength to shine. You do not need to worry about anything. You choose to worry and you allow the negative thoughts. Ask yourself the next time you feel threatened, "If I do not stop this negative thought, will it change who I am, or make me that of which I envy?" NOT and NO!!!!! Please realize this, only you are suffering in that pit. Only you are losing out on all the smiles that life has right at your reach. You are in control of your happiness. You can toss off all those comments or remarks. You can turn your back on someones else's weakness or problems that may cause you to feel less than who you really are. Let them suffer in their own stupidity. No one can threaten you, but you. Do this also when you feel the challenge of negative versus positive thinking:

BREATHE DEEPLY

IDENTIFY THE NEGATIVE

NOW THINK THE POSITIVE

ACT UPON IT

BREATHE AGAIN DEEPLY

PAT YOURSELF FOR WINNING THAT WAR

NOW SMILE

YOU NOW HAVE, "THE POWER OF SELF-ESTEEM!

Trust me here, the more you create this habit, my friends, the easier it becomes. Like anything else worth having in life, it is not going to come easy, but it does come and it is oh so sweet!!!!!!

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"You cannot stop the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can stop them from building their nests in your hair." -Chinese Proverb

Myth 1: Some women just can't have orgasms.
While there are a percentage of women who have never had an orgasm, there is no evidence to suggest some women are incapable of having orgasms. There are two reasons why some women have not had orgasms in their lives. The first is that for whatever reason they have never masturbated. Masturbation is often a woman's first orgasm experience. The second is that they simply are not receiving the proper type of genital stimulation. Clitoral stimulation is needed by most women to have an orgasm. Without that stimulation, it most likely isn't going to happen. There are some women who have psychological blocks when it comes to experiencing sexual pleasure. This may be the result of any number of past events in their lives, but even that does not mean they are physically incapable of having an orgasm. If they worked through those problems, they would be able to engage in orgasm-producing intercourse just like any other woman.

Myth 2: Women take longer to reach orgasm than men.
This is another common myth which has not been supported by research. The reason people believe this is that they don't understand the female arousal pattern (we'll discuss this later in the book). Women's arousal patterns are much different than men's and, as a result, they are physically prepared for intercourse later than men are. The time from optimal arousal to orgasm is pretty much identical for both men and women. The difference is in how long it takes to reach that level of arousal. Because men often don't know how to help their partners get to that point, it does seem to take longer. Once that's changed, however, men find their partners reach orgasm more quickly and even have multiple orgasms in quick succession.

Myth 3: Women should only reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse.
This is definitely not true but it's a myth that has caused us to take women's sexual needs for granted for a long time. This myth actually started with Sigmund Freud, the developer of psychoanalysis, who had recognized that women could easily reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Freud dismissed this type of stimulation as juvenile and believed it was important for women to become more sexually mature by focusing only on vaginal stimulation to reach orgasms.

The problem is that the vagina was not designed for orgasms. It does not have the concentrated nerve endings that one finds in the clitoris or in the head of a penis, for example.

As a result of Freud's determination, women who could not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse were considered to have some type of psychological impairment. All sorts of methods were devised in an attempt to “liberate” women from their reliance on the clitoris for sexual pleasure. Only in recent decades has society begun talking openly about the women's right to enjoy sex and to reach orgasm in whatever manner worked for her.

Myth 4: Only women fake orgasms.
Even though this book is about female orgasms, I think its important for both men and women to realize that orgasms are not going to happen during every sexual encounter. About one-fifth of men admitted that they have faked an orgasm with a partner. Their reasons for faking are the same as women's: they don't want their partners to be disappointed. Orgasms don't always come easily in a partnership. Sure, when we masturbate we can probably get off every time because we know our bodies and we know what works. Our sexual partners have to learn these things over time and, most importantly, with our help. Again, faking orgasms is not the answer for either sex. It just complicates the issue and prevents both partners from having a truly fulfilling sexual encounter.

Myth 5: Men just care about their own pleasure, not their partner's.
This myth was probably true at some point in the past but today more men are worried about their role as lovers and want to give their partners a great experience just as much, or even more, than they want to have a great experience.

The reason this myth persists is the same reason I wrote this book. Men don't understand how female orgasms work or how to achieve them. They don't learn it in sex education classes, and most of their fathers wouldn't be able to tell them even if they did ask.

What makes this worse is that many women feel that men should instinctively know how to get them off. That's just not the way it works. For one, each woman's body is different so what worked with one partner may not work with another.

Each partner needs to communicate with the other person about what feels good and what helps them achieve orgasm. In an honest, caring relationship, these types of communications should be able to take place.

What You Should Remember
Remember as you move into the following topics that much of what you may have known about female orgasms is not true. Only once you move beyond these myths will you truly be able to reach that level yourself or help your partner reach that level.

The most important first step you and your partner must make is to have open communication about your sexual relationship. We'll talk about this more later in the book but keep in mind that good sex does not begin in the bedroom. It begins with talking, getting to know one another, developing trust, and feeling comfortable enough to be completely open with the other person. Truly amazing sex is not possible without these ingredients.

Feel Good Naked - Natural Beauty Secrets

How confident are you when it comes to being naked? Sadly, a lot of women agonise about their bodies and revealing all can be a traumatic experience. If you are looking for tips, tricks and beauty secrets to help you make the most of your natural beauty and feel good naked, you've come to the right place.

Number one of all the beauty secrets is this, if you want to feel good naked you must be happy in your own skin.

To help you achieve this, look after your skin to bring out its natural beauty. Exfoliate regularly to remove dead skin cells and give your circulation a boost, this will encourage new skin cells at the same time. Encouraging new skin cells will give your skin a younger, fresher look.

Always moisturise using a good moisturiser and pay special attention to dry areas such as elbows, knees and feet. Take your time and massage the moisturiser right into your skin. Massaging not only helps your circulation it also helps to smooth out bumps and wrinkles and will enhance your natural beauty. Olive oil, an old-fashioned beauty secret, will give your skin a luxurious look as well as making it soft and supple to touch. As the surface of your skin improves and you get to know your body better you will begin to feel good naked.

Remove unsightly hairs from your legs, under your arms and tidy up your bikini line, or go the whole hog and go for a Brazilian wax.

You probably already know that eating a balanced diet to maintain healthy skin from the inside will benefit your natural beauty. Oily fish and vegetables will do wonders for your nails, hair and teeth as well as providing fish oils and vitamins for your skin and is a beauty secret worth knowing.

Your hair is your crowning glory especially if you want to feel good naked, have it trimmed regularly and keep it clean, well conditioned and healthy.

A quick fix beauty secret to feel good naked is to decide which your best asset is and show it off to the best advantage. Stand naked in front of a tall mirror and take a good, long look at yourself.

Standing straight on is not always the best pose, experiment by turning slowly and watching how your contours change. Standing side on can be a lot more flattering and compliment your natural beauty. Stand up straight and lift your sternum (breastbone) arch your back slightly so that your bottom sticks out a little bit but not too much.

You can make yourself look slimmer by stretching your body into a bow shape and being careful not to stoop or scrunch yourself up. Or stand slightly side on to the mirror placing one leg in front of the other; this will give you a very sexy shapely outline indeed.

Or try lying on your stomach propped up by your elbows, this accentuates the curve of your back and the shape of your breasts and at the same time minimises your stomach.

The idea behind the above beauty secrets is to create an illusion, flatter your natural beauty and help you to feel good naked.

A good tip is to spend as much time as you can actually being naked, this will get you used to seeing yourself naked and the more you see yourself naked, the more being naked will feel natural to you.

Remember to stand up straight and stretch your body to make yourself look slimmer. It also helps if you master the art of walking by placing one foot in front of the other, as though you are walking a tight rope, and swing your legs from the hips. I've found this looks extremely elegant and it will do wonders for your confidence.

Another good beauty secret is to go for soft lighting, such as candles, tea lights or softly coloured light bulbs if you haven't got a dimmer switch, and make sure the lighting is behind you. This not only has a slimming effect - it will also help to soften your outline and give you a sexy glow.

A soft glow rather than harsh lighting will give your skin an even tone and minimise the appearance of any blemishes.

One of the best beauty secrets I know is taking regular exercise to help keep your body toned and supple, a thirty-minute walk three times a week will pay many benefits. Walk at a speed that gets your heart rate up, this will oxygenate your blood and improve your skin, as well as your muscles and heart. Don't walk so fast that you can't have a conversation at the same time.

A toned and balanced body is extremely beautiful and will make you look and feel good naked, and you don’t need an hourglass figure to achieve this. Add quality to your movements with muscles that are long and toned and you will appear more balanced and beautiful.

Finally, the best way to feel good naked is to have confidence in yourself. If you don't feel it, fake it until you do. Get to know your own body and accept yourself for who you are and how you look.

We are all individuals and there are no set rules for everyone. Watch other women and notice how they move, what looks good and what doesn't. You can learn a lot by watching others.

Someone who is happy in her own skin and behaves in a confident manner is extremely attractive and sexy, regardless of her body shape.

How you feel about yourself is what really counts because this will show in your eyes and natural beauty will radiate from you.

Relax and enjoy yourself - love the way you look - if you do then others will too.